issues clarified

i had an interesting conversation with amanda, my love, today.
she was telling me a little about her past to clarify the gaps i have missed before this year.
so i summed up some parts of my freshman year that really, actually, forced me to look at it from a 3rd person perspective.
and i realized it was legitimately sad...
and their isn't anything i can do about it.
there is an upside though.
i can really see why i can't ever like someone for long periods of time.
NUMBER 1; no one was really ever interested in me before last year.
NUMBER 2; my skin is, figuratively speaking, 'thick'. there really isn't anyway someone would ever be able to hurt me now.
i've never really been hurt but once.

never again.

Step 1; recognition.