BULL$H!T$

i don't know what the fuck is going on. i am so sick of everyone's bullshit. nagging, laughing, yelling, glaring. i'm so over it. i hate when i feel like i am in a totally different point in my mind than everyone else. i feel like i'm on some deserted island at kettle run. i don't really know anyone in my classes. i have always had the same group of people in my classes since like 5th grade and now i'm with people i hardly spoke to before this term. first block is normal. i have all the people i like in that class and there is only like 15 poeple in that class. second block i missed because i had an ortho appointment so i'll have to evaluate that one later. third block, mrs. drakeford is tight as shit. but i have all these random juniors in that class. uhm excuse me, what the fuck? at least evan is in that class. fourth block is gym, so that's cool. i have all those stupid freshmen in there though. pieces of shit. i feel lost without gabriella in my classes. honestly. when i had something to say i could just turn my head and tell her. and now i don't see her at all. so it's new for me. but whatever.

lately everyone has been annoying me. i try to keep my thoughts to myself though. i guess i am just losing all my standards. i think i have morals, but that's what i thought before i went through freshman year. that changed fast i'll tell you what. everything is subject to change with me apparently. for some reason i feel like my vision of myself is fogged. like am i even attractive now? or am i going to look back on myself in a year and say "what the hell was i thinking?". i think that's a human thing. i think to get through the day, we need to think we are a little bit attractive. if we didn't, what would we do?